Death of the Cowboy
-- Michael Harris Cohen


Murder. That's right. An innocent (as far as we know) life has
been taken. No doubt other murders are currently transpiring as
well. In fact, it would be safe to say that a person is being
murdered, somewhere in the world, in about the same time that it
takes you to read one line of this page (give or take a few lives
for slower or faster readers). It's a big world and there are a
lot of very pissed off and dangerous people in it. Perhaps you
should slow down. Don't skim. I realize that's a tendency we
all have when we start something in an anthology. It's like one
of those chocolate boxes where you bite a little here, a little
there, before you find the one you like. You can use that
analogy if you prefer. In the time it takes for you to chew up
your average piece of chocolate, another person is killed. So
let's try and savor. Savor life.

What was the folklore every child recited? A birth occurs every
three seconds and a death every seven? What percentage of these
deaths is by murder? Perhaps a rhythm could be structured; maybe
some new type of time signature could be devised from birth,
birth, birth, birth, birth, birth, death. This could be the
rhythmic foundation for something called the "Symphony of the
World" and, if the notes were right, it might move something
primordial in us -- a kind of music of the spheres marching
within us. A thumping of the timpani or a sharp cymbal crash
could signify the murders.

Anyway it's this murder that concerns us. A body has been
discovered. It is most positively dead, though still somewhat
warm. It has been shot through the head (the back of the head
which rules out suicide, more or less) and we must hope, as
compassionate individuals, that the death was quick and the
deceased did not suffer unduly in those last moments of life. We
could examine the face but I think it is no one you know. A man,
possibly in his mid-forties, with an extra hole in his head. The
entry of the bullet is surprisingly clean, like a finger stuck in
and removed from wet clay. There is blood, naturally, but it
could have been worse. All in all, it's a fairly innocuous
murder.

We've all witnessed worse on the evening news or at the local
movie theater. We might feel almost grateful to the murderer
that he/she spared us some creatively sadistic spectacle -- a
decapitation, disembowelment or something really disgusting like
severing the man's genitals and placing them in his mouth.
Nothing overly nasty here. Thank goodness for that. Of course,
feeling thankful regarding a murder seems inappropriate. We
should be seeking the murderer with the vengeance of the Furies.
Someone has taken a human life, an innocent (again, as far as we
know) life, and that is inexcusable. That cannot go unpunished.

The police photographer flashes pictures of the body from various
angles: a close-up of the bullet hole, the angle of the dead
man's hand, the corona of blood from the head wound. It's rather
a strange job, don't you think? I'm sure the photographer would
have some interesting things to say on the subject of murder. I
wonder if he makes extra copies of the pictures to study at his
leisure. He looks rather professional. Perhaps at one time he
had aspirations of being an artist. Maybe Cartier-Bresson
inspired him. I'd wager that he dreamed of being a famous
photographer. But of course being an artist is difficult, Lord
knows. Maybe he still considers himself an artist of sorts.
There must be something of an art to photographing a dead body
(or is it just a craft... and what is the difference anyway?).
It seems easy, but how can we say that it's easier than snapping
pictures of the living?

At the same time something is about to happen in an airport.
It's not even in the same city. The airport security guard yawns
as he watches the X-ray machine reveal the inner secrets of
people's luggage. Probably sounds interesting until you do it
for awhile. Still, getting to see the insides of so many
people's bags and briefcases, think of all you could learn about
human nature. People must feel somewhat naked as the contents of
their bags are X-rayed. All that radiation seeping in there just
to see what's been thrown into carry-on bags. Maybe people
remove potentially embarrassing items before traveling. Actually
they probably don't give it much thought. After all, they only
see the guard for a few minutes of their life so what do they
really care? I suppose all of this seems less interesting for
you than me, one of those things that a writer sees as
interesting, a sort of poetic detail. Writers tend to enlarge
everything anyway or try and find the "inner resonance of
things." Kind of like X-ray machines.

A gun has just passed through the machine.

The guard was barely paying attention. It's close to the end of
his shift when the graveyard guy comes on so he might have been
thinking about getting a beer after work or what's on television
tonight. But he saw the gun. How could he not? The gun is
enormous. It's not a discreet pea-shooter but a full-size, long-
barreled cannon. It's hard to determine the make of the weapon
from the fuzzy silhouette, but it is most certainly a gun.

The guard doesn't even think about what to do next. He slaps the
alarm button. The sight of the gun is like a rubber hammer
tapping his knee. He's never pushed the button in a "live"
situation, only in drills. It is controlled chaos in the
immediate moments after. Very tightly controlled, as an ear-
shattering alarm blares and other guards run to the station with
their guns drawn, pushing back the other curious passengers and
slicing the air with their weapons.

The owner of the bag is a smallish woman. She already looks
harried. When the guard straightens his .38 Smith and Wesson
(oddly, the woman's last name is Smith! Well, her maiden name
anyway) at her forehead she is understandably shocked. A few
paces behind the woman is her six year-old son. The gun in the
bag belongs to him. It's an astonishingly realistic cap pistol
his father brought back from Japan when he went there on
business. The gun came with a genuine leather holster and a
cowboy hat that the boy is wearing right now. The boy slipped
the gun in his mother's bag when she wasn't looking, even after
she pointedly told him he could not bring it with him on this
trip. Children.

Summing up, they were on their way to Miami, Florida and the
woman was almost killed because of a cap gun. Frightening. Of
course we're glad that airport security does its job and doesn't
take chances even if sometimes they may overreact.

So it appears that the airport incident has nothing whatsoever to
do with the murder at hand. Probably. At this point nothing can
be ruled out completely. Of course, a new problem arises: this
incident is now part of the story and, thus, in an undeniable
sense, related to the murder by context. Perhaps later, when we
have (hopefully!) found an important clue pertaining to the
murder, our minds will have time to dwell more upon the sudden
look of shock on the airport security guard's face as he
recognizes the gun on the screen. Or we will imagine the
spanking the little boy must have gotten once the affair was
finally over and done. Actually, no. Have no fear, I'm almost
certain this entire airport section will be edited out before it
reaches you. I apologize for the false lead, but we are still
waiting on the detective. After all, I am not a detective and
cannot be expected to always follow the right leads. Even a real
detective (I'm speaking not of TV detectives like Colombo or
Magnum PI but detectives in the REAL world) makes mistakes and,
as I said, nothing can be ruled out until the detective arrives
and decides what is significant and what things are red herrings
and inconsequential details. The detective is a kind of life
editor, trimming away the superfluous fat of mystery to get at
the lean truth.

So everything stays. You can't mess with a crime scene after
all. Sorry. We need a few more of the facts -- a lot more,
actually. It seems that we really don't know much of anything,
does it? We don't even know the identity of the murder victim or
why he was killed. So little has been created for you, and I
accept full responsibility. I suppose if you stop and think,
back up a bit, your image of the body is basically hovering in
some sort of abstract void, with only the strobe of the
photographer illuminating the setting. Strange, isn't it? You
decided it was night even before I mentioned the photographer,
didn't you? Or can you even remember? Now, it is so definitely
night that it becomes impossible for you to conceive of this
murder occurring during the day. Perhaps you have a
predisposition to a certain type of setting. Do you picture the
body in an alley, strewn with garbage and homeless cats languidly
sniffing at overturned cans? What if I told you that the victim
is slumped over the wheel of his car? You erase the alley and
immediately begin thinking what kind of car it is. You saw a
black one I bet, or red. Something expensive, a late model and
not very fuel-efficient. Maybe a Lincoln or a Cadillac. You
make this job so easy. I hardly have to write anything at all
before you pick up the ball and run with it. Good work!

Readers like you are so generous. You will allow the facts to
accumulate slowly, that's perfectly all right with you. You
might jump ahead of the writer from time to time, but you'll
always come running back onto the writer's track, slightly
sheepish, but willing to accept the actual version. Here it is:
the body was stuffed in the trunk of an abandoned car, a '72
Dodge Dart with a shabby olive green paint job.

Here's a confession. Not from the murderer but from me. I don't
know exactly where the body was discovered. I was just
demonstrating a point. It's easy to get carried away knowing
that whatever I write you will see. There is a pink handbag with
a fake pearl clasp on the driver's seat. The clasp is open and
the bag appears empty at first glance. Okay, I'm lying again but
how can I resist?

I'm stalling too. It's rather obvious by now I suppose. Where
is that damn detective?

Well perhaps it might be useful if you knew where I am. I'm in
Sofia, Bulgaria which on February 18th, 1994 was the uncontested
murder capital of Europe. There were thirty-seven murders in the
first three weeks of that year in Sofia alone. That's a higher
murder per capita rate than any city in America. These are facts
though they have certainly changed by now. That was a pretty
long time ago. Still, it may be an important fact to know that
as an American in Bulgaria, murder was on my mind when I wrote
this.

Is it morning when you read this? People's analytical skills
tend to be a bit more focused in the morning. You might be
skimming this over breakfast or on the first coffee break at
work. If not, you might want to put it away until morning, so
you can be at your best when sifting through the various facts.

More facts: the writer has written this after an extremely long
night at a local club. His brain is running on about two hours
sleep and he had ingested a fair amount of illicit drugs the
prior night, the residue of which linger in his system. He's
having trouble focusing on the page. There were several women at
the club he would have liked to go home with last night. In the
end, the writer talked to none of them and went home alone. Well
yes, there are many more facts about the writer, but one must
know when to stop, of course. The most important thing to glean
from this is that the writer's general mental condition is one
that lacks what would be thought of as a standard of lucidity.
Still, the writer never forgets to bear in mind that there is a
murderer at large and, therefore, every second is precious. The
writer is fully aware of the gravity of the situation. He will
not waste more time on these kinds of metafictional digressions
or tangent further to question whether or not the novel is still
a relevant form. These are things he would like to discuss with
you but there is a time and a place.

Thank God, the detective has finally arrived. He apologizes to
the other people for the delay, but he is a busy man. In fact,
there are numerous cases he could be working on and it is sheer
luck that he has been called in on this one. Watch him. He
seems to be a man who knows what he's doing, take my word for it.
I have full confidence he will catch this killer. His manner
with the corpse assures me of this. Like the photographer, I'm
sure he has seen numerous dead bodies before. He hardly
flinches, as no doubt most of us would, when handling a murder
victim. He carefully examines the entry wound of the bullet into
the dead man's skull. He cradles the head like an artist
adjusting a model, tender but assured. It is a real treat to
watch him work. Some things just cannot be taught, you know.
Most likely, he did very well at the police academy and as a
regular cop, but now he's in his element. He seems to have
compassion for the dead intertwined somewhere in all that
professionalism. It's possible that death even turns him on a
little. I don't mean sexually but in a kind of primal way, it
activates something inside him. I like to think that he
considers himself a kind of urban hunter. He is a predator of
predators, tracking the creatures that prey on innocents.

What more can I say to explain this man? He's complicated. I
hardly know him myself. He's not the kind of guy that I would
talk to in a bar unless I happened to accidentally stumble into
him, in which case I would apologize, and quickly, even if it was
more his fault than mine. You might imagine him as the "hard-
boiled" type. Is that what you see? Well yes, he does smoke and
he does have a tendency to make use of certain unnecessary
expletives. Yet as far as I know, he does not start the day with
a shot of whiskey -- there isn't even an odor of it about him
now. He's married (I did notice a wedding ring). He's not
totally obsessed with his job. He takes it seriously, of course,
but there is more to his life than just hunting criminals. There
is hardness about him. Christ, how can there not be? He sees
death everyday and deals with some of the most abhorrent elements
of society. Who wouldn't be hardened?

There is a telling detail in his appearance. He wears a hat.
What kind of hat do you think it is? Raise your hand, how many
of you see a classic fedora? A porkpie? It's neither. The
detective wears a broad-brimmed cowboy hat. Yes! I suppose we
all have to do some major modifications to our mental pictures
now. The whole scene seems to slip down several hundred miles in
latitude, doesn't it? Just because of that silly hat. There's
no twang to his voice though. No, I don't think we are in the
South, but I'm not sure...

Wouldn't it be amazing if it turned out that this detective was
actually the father of the boy in the airport? The cowboy hats
seem a pretty good indicator that this might be the case. Things
would begin to pull together then. Suddenly, that seemingly
arbitrary airport "digression" wouldn't seem so arbitrary, would
it now? Maybe the woman at the airport is his wife and they had
a fight, etc.

This is the writer's terrible dilemma. Anything is possible. If
one ever has any doubts about free will, they should try to write
a story. I mean can you really believe that everything is
determined? That every word that follows was fated to be
written? Suppose I was to write: "marinated ostrich poop" or
"Newt Gingrich's School of Belly Dancing and Semiotics." Do you
honestly believe that those words were fated to be written as
some part of a Divine Plan? No way, right?

So is the detective related to the woman in the airport? That's
the million-dollar question. But there's more at stake then
that. Writing is like walking through the woods. You can take
any path you choose, then you take side paths -- nobly breaking
trails -- and next thing you know, the path that seemed it would
hook up with the main one does not. There you are in the forest,
huddled on the ground, your knees pulled up to your chin.
Rocking in the dark, whimpering. Lost. It makes murder seem
easy in comparison. Murder represents a single action one must
absolutely commit to. Once committed, the action is irrevocable.

Wait. The ring is on the detective's right hand and not his
left. My mistake. It's night after all, and a bit hard to see.
Plus this guy is very animated, he moves constantly. The ring
thing is an honest mistake.

I'm sorry for the constant interruptions, but there is something
I feel compelled to tell you. The writer left the story. I mean
he's back here now, writing this. But he took a few days' break
from the writing some paragraphs back. His life must continue,
after all; it's not only about putting words on the page for you.
He would have liked to finish the story in one sitting, but it
just wasn't possible.

He has said to others, when they discuss art and the nature of
being a writer, that all he desires to do with his time is write.
This is true, but writing is often difficult for him. In the
past, he has compared it to drawing blood, but that is
inaccurate. Drawing blood would be easier; it requires no
thought.

The writer is, honestly, a little concerned that there will be a
lapse in the flow since he has stepped away from the story.

Another writer he admires has called the act of writing the
"sustainment of a lucid dream." But everyone knows the basic
impossibility of returning to a dream once you have left it.
Obviously, the ideal is to write everything in one sitting. In
fact, Edgar Allan Poe believed this was the only way to write...
no wait, actually he said that everything should be read in one
sitting, I think. Unfortunately the writer has no time for
research and must risk the occasional inaccuracy. Anyway, the
latter advice might be useful for you. Linger a little longer,
if you haven't already stepped away, and read the whole thing in
one sitting (especially if it's in the morning). Feel free to
research, exactly what Poe wrote in his essay later. That's
fine, commendable even, but the polite thing would be to wait
until you have finished the story.

There is one more confession that must be made. Another fact.
The writer is on opium right now. At this very moment, as he
writes. I hope none of you are shocked. The writer is not a
drug addict or anything despicable like that (not to imply that
all drug addicts are despicable). No, no, the drug is being
taken in the spirit of experimentation. He is still in Sofia,
but his mind is elsewhere. The drug is making the very act of
writing a challenge for him. That's part of the experiment.

As you probably know, opium has a long history of connection with
writers, from Coleridge to Cocteau. The writer wonders if maybe
it will make his writing better too. You are part of the
experiment now. It's funny how the writer can feel the strongest
emotions known to man as he writes (that may be the opium talking
-- it's got a gentle but emphatic voice) and the reader may feel
nothing at all as he reads the same words. Conversely, the
writer may feel nothing at all, working in a state of cool
calculation to construct a scene that makes the reader cry.

Probably, the best thing to do would be to enclose some sort of
survey form with the story, so you could respond to questions
about any sort of stylistic change you observed in the writing
from the previous part to this one. Can you tell the difference?

I hope you are not disappointed in the writer. That would be
terrible. Try to remember that the writer is human, after all,
and that many cultures view drugs as tools to achieving higher
states of consciousness. Yes, try and step out of the limited
and highly puritanical paradigm of America for a moment --
exercise a little cultural relativity.

Wait. Something concrete has been discovered in connection with
the murder. I told you earlier to be patient. The detective
knows the man who was killed! I can overhear him talking to
another one of the policemen there. He is telling the cop that
the victim was a lawyer for the Mafia. He can also tell by the
way the man was shot that this was a gangland execution. Now
we're getting somewhere.

He jokingly says to one of the other cops that it "saves him the
trip." They laugh. All these men seem to genuinely like the
detective. Even though he has risen through the ranks much
faster then any of them can hope to, there doesn't seem to be any
real jealousy, just a lot of good-hearted camaraderie.

But wait... what does the detective's statement mean? Is he
suggesting that the man who was murdered wasn't innocent? Surely
anyone who has his or her life unwillingly snuffed out deserves
our sympathy. Maybe not though, maybe the detective is on to
something. Certain murders are considered justified in most of
our minds; we don't even consider them murders. Like the
execution of a serial killer for example. That kind of murder is
carried through with the powers of the State behind it and
therefore considered just, right? Well, I don't want to open up
some sort of debate on the moral or immoral nature of capital
punishment. All I'm saying is that in the mind of the detective,
the murder may be justified in this case. Let's give him the
benefit of the doubt for now. We waited long enough for him --
let's see what he's got up his sleeve.

Frankly, the detective doesn't seem overly concerned about the
death of the lawyer. Right now he's taking a cigarette from one
of the other policemen and laughing at some unheard joke the man
made. All I caught is that the joke had something to do with
lawyers. The dead guy has basically has become a punchline
corpse.

I'll admit, I'm a bit disturbed by this. It's a bit like poking
your nose where it doesn't really belong and seeing something
shameful that you wish you hadn't. But who am I to judge?
Perhaps the detective is more hardened toward death than even the
writer could imagine. Maybe this whole thing is some kind of
coping ritual for the policemen, as they stand around chattering
and laughing while the body grows colder.

Besides, it's a gangland hit. We know what that means. The
lawyer was killed by a hitman, an assassin. It's nothing
personal. The hitman (or hitperson, rather) does this for a
living just like the writer writes and the detective detects.
It's just a job that should be carried out professionally, like
any other.

If the security guard had shot the woman in the airport, he would
have been doing his job, too. Of course there probably would
have been an ugly scandal and he might have lost his job -- for
doing it too well. He might have spent many sleepless nights
thinking of that motherless child, but he could have felt "okay"
about himself because he was doing his job. Fortunately, it
didn't happen and this is all academic conjecture.

The woman and her son managed to board their flight to Miami.
They're in the air right now. She's laughing, telling the story
to a fellow passenger, a stranger. It seems to make for a good
story, and is a testament to her character that she could
transmute so quickly a scary ordeal into a humorous anecdote.
However, she is drinking one of those tiny bottles of Johnny
Walker. I think it's something she doesn't usually do, since she
grimaces slightly every time the scotch touches her throat.

She's saying that it's a blessing, really, because the airlines
gave her two complimentary vouchers to fly anywhere in the
continental US. That's a great deal. It almost makes you want
to put a cap gun in your bag next time you fly.

The boy is sleeping. His hatless head presses against the thick
glass of the window. His face is a little on the puffy side. I
think he's been crying.

I have to tell you something else. I had really hoped for more
closure. However, the detective is driving home in his car now,
and the murder seems to be the furthest thing from his mind. I
suppose I could take a further peek inside his mind, but who am I
to do that? It seems a bit of an ethical breach, doesn't it?
Not to mention a breach in style.

Forget it. It's not even necessary. Trust me, I can tell by
looking at him that he couldn't care less about the murder. He's
too busy yawning and fiddling with the radio. All he wants to do
is go home and get into bed. Imagine... a man has been killed.

Still, we can't entirely blame the detective. He probably had a
long day of death before he even arrived at our murder site. He
didn't have a choice either. I made him come and gave him
nothing but minimal leads, with very little concrete detail to go
on. Like the title. Is it a clue? Was the man killed some kind
of cowboy, or did he have a nickname "The Cowboy"? Is it a
metaphor? Is it just some trick to entice the reader with a sexy
title or a ploy to fit within the thematic framework of some
magazine?

Enough. At this point I have little doubt this murder will go
unsolved. Most do.

I envy the detective. He sits in his car, warm and cozy. There
is a full tank of gas. He could go anywhere he pleases. If he
doesn't solve the murder it's really not that big a deal. There
will be other murders. Plenty of them.

But you and I, we are lost in the woods. Cold, bored, a little
irritated with each other. Our journey was not much of a success
and I guess it's up to me to take responsibility for that. Fine,
I'm to blame. But nobody made you come, did they? It's not like
I twisted your arm and made you finish this thing. I think I
already established a pretty good case for free will.

I'm sorry. We shouldn't fight. Let's preserve our energy. The
sun is almost behind the trees and I can hear your belly
growling. We need to work together, to cooperate. It's
important that we keep our heads clear and concentrate on just
how the hell we are going to find our way out of here.

Back to COWBOYS & INDIANS, dear reader!